I know one thing, I love you - Old wives tales

In various results of my searching I find all kinds of "advice" that really are quite funny.  I thought I would share a few with you and how they are proofing not to be scientifically sound.  BUT, for those that don't hurt you or your future baby, by all means give them a shot!  Mind you these are all my opinions, please check with your doctor if you have questions.  Next week I'm going to talk about what you can do to help get pregnant.  But first let's not stress about:

Feet where?
I have been told to keep your feet in the air for an hour after sex.  What?  Would it be better to hang me up by my toes?  By laws of physics the size of actual sperm is not affected by the earth's gravitational pull.  If sperm was the size of the moon I might change my opinion...  Here's what WebMD said about the topic.

Who is suppose to be where?

Who's on first? What's on second? I don't know is on third?  Again, like I said above, sperm are meant to swim.  If you want to lean on the side of caution, don't use a swing and use what ever position makes you enjoy sex.  There is some evidence that orgasms helps sperm, but it's not necessary.  Here is what Babyzone says on the topic.

How long do you say I lay there?

Kind of along the lines of don't swim after you eat.  I'm not saying do jumping jacks after sex, but sperm are designed to swim.  Just sit back, relax and enjoy the moment.  Give yourself twenty minutes of bliss before you return to the real world.



Eat what!?!?
I have heard to eat yams, eat salty food if you want a boy, drink milk if you want a girl.  Ok, maybe there is some truth behind the acidity level of your uterus determining if you are going to have a girl or boy, but will it help you get pregnant?  Not sure about that.  Now eating healthy is essential to all your body's health.  Yes, I do agree that you shouldn't take in too much caffeine, don't drink to the point of not being able to walk, don't smoke, take in extra folic acid, don't eat in excess, eat three meals a day, and don't eat fish high in Mercury, correct me if I'm wrong but are these all guidelines to go by no matter what?  Babyzone agrees.  I will write about trying to pick your baby's sex in a later post.


Stressed out?!?!
So many people tell me to not get stressed about getting pregnant.  My best friend told me this the other day: if you are normally a worry wort, then trying your hardest to not worry actually changes you.  Her theory is that if you keep your life at a normal level between extremes that a little stress won't hurt.  If you want to make a major change (move, get a new job, quite smoking, stop drinking, exercise excessive, eat excessive, etc) then gradually try to adapt your body or prepare your body.  Waking up at a different time for a new job affects your normal life, thus affecting your fertility.  Stress has been linked to infertility, but I believe they are talking about extreme stress like losing a family member, losing a job, or changing a job affects your health.  Not driving in traffic... or worrying about your next presentation at work.  WebMD states there maybe some research supporting stress affecting fertility,  but I say that stress affects other parts of your health thus affecting fertility.  I believe it's not a direct correlation.

In the end, what gets you through making a baby is the love you have between you and your partner, your future child, for yourself, for your family, and for your friends.  They are truly the best way to get support that will help you through conceiving a child.  If you need more help, reach out to family and friends that have been there before or are there now.  If that doesn't help, talk with a medical doctor, psychologist, help groups, book or magazine authors, blog writers, or anyone else that has professional experience with conception.  

Remember a child is conceived out of love.  Surround yourself by it!  

And don't listen to how people define love.  Love is love.

I was left to my own devices - what I do to prepare for pregnancy

I think the best advice/reminder I have gotten when it comes to trying to get pregnant was the following: "getting pregnant is the fun part".  The more I poured over books the more I worried about getting pregnant.  We are both in our late 30's!  Thankfully my OB/GYN assured me that I don't have anything working against us getting pregnant.  Stress is the worse condition.  Whew!  If we don't get pregnant in six months come back and talk about other medical interventions.  Until then....

Enter in my crazy planning
(get ready for your introduction to my mind)

Monitoring you cycle and FAM

Everyone who has tried to do natural birth control planning that really want to thoroughly understand their cycle has read the book: Taking Control of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, MPH.  The book  teaches you how to monitor your cycle, chart it, read it, and understand you body more than you ever dreamed was possible.  I found the website difficult to keep my cycle straight.  I looked for an app for my iPhone that would help.  Enter Kindara.  Welcome to the world of opposing over temperatures on cervical fluids. I know.  It sounds like a ton of fun, but trust me.  If you have ever uttered the words, "what is that?" when you went to the bathroom this method will open your eyes to a whole new world.

Prenatal Vitamins

I've read a lot of books about getting pregnant and if I learned anything I knew I had to take a prenatal vitamin.  They come in 30 day supplies.  I plan go review them as I take them.  The one I'm taking is NOW's Prenatal Gels + DHA.  I am also taking Chasteberry Vitex to help regulate my cycle better.  Since changes in jobs, moving, and planning has changed my cycle length as well has painfully first day of menstruation I am taking the supplement.  However it's not recommended to take when you are pregnant, so I will stop taking it before I ovulate in a few weeks.  The DHA is a omega-3 fatty acid that is suppose to help with visual and neurological development.  We typically eat 2 servings a fish a week, but I feel that isn't enough DHA.  We keep the fish meals down because of mercury and other harmful elements found in fish.

The NOW's Prenatal Gels + DHA are monster of a bill.  There are three to take a day and because I wish to keep the iron supplement more time-released I take the pills morning, noon, and night.  Next month I am trying a pre-natal vitamin and seperate DHA from honest.com  It's an interesting company concept.  I recommend checking them out, but don't receive my first order until next week.   I will review them all in a few months. 

 The spreadsheet

I'm tracking all my data with start date, ovulation date, cycle length, luteal phase, and follicular phase.  I want to track my trends so that if there is an issue it's easy to pinpoint where the problem might be, if there is a problem.  I do a lot of statistical analysis like average, mean, and standard deviations.  I'm not sure if it is all necessary, but it helps past the time while I wait to ovulate.  Or you could simple do what other do and have sex every other night.  Hmmmm......  That's not a half bad idea!  Just remember to not make sex an means to an end, but rather something that is very special when you are trying to create a child. 

The Plan

When I'm told to do something for six months and come back if nothing happens rest assure I will find ways to make each month different.  Our first month of trying we are sticking to the FAM method, supplements, safe lubrication, and fun sex.  The next month we are going to see if the FAM method really does predict ovulation with an ovulation kit.  Not sure which one we will get.   Suggestions welcomed!  Third month we will explore the world of acupuncture.  The fourth month I will be monitoring my pH.  The fifth month I will be exploring more holistic approaches.  Not sure about the sixth month yet, but the seventh month will be tried after we talk with the doctor.  I like having a plan so that when we go to see the doctor I will have examples and charts galore to analyze.

Here's my song for the week!

Paperback Writer - prepping for baby book reviews

Let's face it.  Reading books about trying to get pregnant freaks you OUT!!!  Many times they are written by people that have been affected by infertility.  Not to dismiss their work or their efforts, but at times when you are trying to create a peaceful, welcoming, happy, and fun environment to conceive a child you get bogged down by all that can go wrong.  I'm sad to say of my own dear friend that lost her first child due to a rare heart development (something like two infants in a year over the entire world).  Thankfully she has a son that has no heart or genetic problems.  It was difficult being so helpless in supporting her, but I learned that to minimize my anxiety I needed to learn more and to take everything with a grain of salt.

So here are a list of books that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.  Also a few that wasn't my cup of tea.  One or two that I could only read a chapter or two at a time, but finished them because they were full of information.

The number one book that I recommend: 
Taking Charge of Your Fertility
byToni Weschler

A great book for truly understanding you cycle.  The book is packed full of information and usefully if you are trying to not get pregnant, plan your next pregnancy, and general fertility information.  This book has eased many of my fear of trying to get pregnant.  I can say enough about this book.   If anything it made my husband happy to know what he was suppose to do.  Things like hot tubs, underwear, heated car seats, drinking, stress, etc.  Be prepared, there are pictures of cervical fluids!  Very usefully to help you determine things, but at the same time: it is what it is.

Second favorite book (just a little outdated):

Before Your Pregnancy: A 90-Day Guide for Couples on How to Prepare for a Healthy Conception
by Amy Ogle and Lisa Mazzullo

Quite useful book to determine a whole health approach.  It uses the food pyramid which is no longer recommended.  It's a great reference book for when you remember you read something about something.  It's well organized and easy to find answers to your questions.  It even has workbooks!

Infertility issues?  Maybe something to look into:
The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies

 by Randine Lewis

When you want to dive into the world of Chinese Wellness this is your book.  It's written well.  Has lot of information determining what you can do to use the ancient art of herbs and acupuncture.  I didn't read it cover to cover.  I decided I would leave it till the time I needed to read it.  I didn't want to overwhelm myself with too many changes the first few months.

Not my favorite:

Fully Fertile: A Holistic 12-Week Plan for Optimal Fertility

by Tami Quinn, Jeanie Lee Bussell, Beth Heller

I really want to find a good yoga book.  This wasn't it.  For one thing, it was difficult to read.  Organization was not done well.  Second, it really freaked me out!  I couldn't finish it, even though I tried on several occasions.  It really focuses on all the negative aspects to getting pregnant.  Maybe it would be good for someone that has some infertility issues, but not a good prep book.

Let me know if you have any suggestions on books to read!

Got to love The Beatles!